Last night I decided that I wanted to drive out to Lake Monroe. Just to hang out. There wasn’t any reason in particular. I rolled the window down, cranked on Amos Lee, and drove. It’s one of my favorite drives because the road is curvy and the tree’s are high. You come up on the lake very suddenly, and it’s one of the coolest moments when you see the sun setting over the hills with rays of light beaming up behind the trees while sailboats and pontoons are still on the lake. It’s a jewel in Southern Indiana, and I will miss it.
On the way, I passed an elderly couple working in the garden in their yard. It was adorable. They looked really perplexed by something, but they were working together on it. They had a beautiful house and a beautiful yard.
When I saw it, I got angry with God for a second.
I don’t know if I will have an old lady by my side in 40 years working on a garden with me. He has called me to Asia for an undetermined amount of time. Could be a year, could be the rest of my life. And I’m willing to go wherever He wants me. I’m willing to forsake my desires to serve Him. It would be nice to be comfortable. To have a house, a wife, a dog, a garden in Indiana.
For a second I forgot that what God has called me to is infinitely greater than anything I could muster up. What He has called me to will bring more glory to Him, and more joy for me. I forgot that I can rejoice that He is sending me to Asia, and I have no idea what adventures lie ahead for me.
I very well could have a wife in 40 years, with a garden and a dog. I very well could be single, living in Asia working on the mission field. I have NO IDEA where my life is going. It’s scary, but I’m okay with it.